Sunday, October 15, 2006 One Hell of a Roller Coaster..
Life for me is weird.. so as my relationship with my boyfriend.. but it's weird in a good way.. I may believe this cannot be it, because I'm only 15. Who in the world would have a steady relationship and is sure who to marry in their 15th year? As for us, whatever we have will last but it will last longer than anyone expects. It may not be forever, but i can assure you it is always.
I don't know what happened and how it happened and why it happened, but I know by that moment my life rocked! I am thankful for what happened, at least now my mind is at rest. He gave me assurance as well as hope. Hope in a way that I once again believe that we will be together longer than what others expect. I know some people might not believe in us, in the fact that he'll be 17, I'm fifteen, he studies in college, I am a high school student, I don't know whatever he is doing over there.. But then last night, he gave me reassurance and he brought my trust back to him.
'Sometimes the truth hurts.'
A quote I truly believe in. I cried, it was no big deal. The big deal is what he told me. The big deal is what I believed to be true, and yes, I was right. But then in the fact that he stopped it, makes me realize how much he doesn't want this relationship to end.
I know you may think that what I'm saying now is gibberish.. I am sorry, but all I can do is type down what my head wants me to say. As for last night, I spoke everything that I have to say. I opened to him everything, with him thinking that I can't understand what I'm saying. I was dizzy, yes, but I know what I'm saying. I know that what I said was true. I know that I want to hear the truth. I know I want him to tell the truth. I want to know what really is happening and what really happened. I want to see from his eyes the truth. I want him to stare at mine and say it all, knowing that with him staring at me, will be completely difficult for him to say a speck of a lie. I can see from his eyes that he never said a single lie.
I believe that if ever we broke up, it's my fault. If ever there is something wrong, I would most likely be the one responsible. It's not that I don't believe in him, it's because of my previous relationship. I trusted my past, and all it did was hurt me more. But then Michael was there, and he comforted me. He made me smile the way others don't. He made me laugh despite the point that I was really crying at that time. He created a bond that tied us even though were not in a relationship yet and neither of us know if there is a chance that we will.
Anyways, I forgot most of what happened last night. I forgot most of that I said, but I know even though I forgot most of them, he wouldn't because the most normal person that time was him. He listened as I spoke and vice versa. I loved him and he loved me back.
He asked me if we are gonna make it until our anniversary, which is 4 months to go.
What did I answer?
I told him,
We're gonna make it our first year, and we will make it no matter what. Because we are not gonna make it our first year only, we're also gonna make it through the second, third, fourth, and so on..
ü
I don't know what happened and how it happened and why it happened, but I know by that moment my life rocked! I am thankful for what happened, at least now my mind is at rest. He gave me assurance as well as hope. Hope in a way that I once again believe that we will be together longer than what others expect. I know some people might not believe in us, in the fact that he'll be 17, I'm fifteen, he studies in college, I am a high school student, I don't know whatever he is doing over there.. But then last night, he gave me reassurance and he brought my trust back to him.
'Sometimes the truth hurts.'
A quote I truly believe in. I cried, it was no big deal. The big deal is what he told me. The big deal is what I believed to be true, and yes, I was right. But then in the fact that he stopped it, makes me realize how much he doesn't want this relationship to end.
I know you may think that what I'm saying now is gibberish.. I am sorry, but all I can do is type down what my head wants me to say. As for last night, I spoke everything that I have to say. I opened to him everything, with him thinking that I can't understand what I'm saying. I was dizzy, yes, but I know what I'm saying. I know that what I said was true. I know that I want to hear the truth. I know I want him to tell the truth. I want to know what really is happening and what really happened. I want to see from his eyes the truth. I want him to stare at mine and say it all, knowing that with him staring at me, will be completely difficult for him to say a speck of a lie. I can see from his eyes that he never said a single lie.
I believe that if ever we broke up, it's my fault. If ever there is something wrong, I would most likely be the one responsible. It's not that I don't believe in him, it's because of my previous relationship. I trusted my past, and all it did was hurt me more. But then Michael was there, and he comforted me. He made me smile the way others don't. He made me laugh despite the point that I was really crying at that time. He created a bond that tied us even though were not in a relationship yet and neither of us know if there is a chance that we will.
Anyways, I forgot most of what happened last night. I forgot most of that I said, but I know even though I forgot most of them, he wouldn't because the most normal person that time was him. He listened as I spoke and vice versa. I loved him and he loved me back.
He asked me if we are gonna make it until our anniversary, which is 4 months to go.
What did I answer?
I told him,
We're gonna make it our first year, and we will make it no matter what. Because we are not gonna make it our first year only, we're also gonna make it through the second, third, fourth, and so on..
ü
the time was.. 4:42 AM
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