Friday, November 10, 2006 Bad to worse, worse to worst, worst to good.. good to great?
Things really do turn upside-down don't they? It sucks a bit because I can't really stop these damn arguments from coming. Today we almost fought. I pushed him out. Why? I was sick of pulling him in so I decided to puch him hard. I am so dumb. What happened after that? The usual, he got a bit mad. I broke down, and the lot. I know things are getting out of hand, but I also know that we can surpass this even without him not coming over. I'm really trying hard to get my act together and really place in mind whjat the hell I'm doing wrong. I need help, and I'm not denying it. I know I can get pretty darn confusing and irritating, and that is practiacally the main reason why we fight..*sigh*
I need to answer the question, why am I like this? Why am I sort of obsessing over him. He's already mine, but why am I feeling that if I don't be careful, he might slip away? I know it's totally wrong. It's like I don't trust him at all! Oh gawd..
I though I could never give him the letter I wrote to him, but I did. I know he'll get mad, and he did, the moment I told him that I threw away the letter. I'm so twisted! I really pity him because he has to get used to a person like me. I wanna cry sometimes because of my foolish decisions and such! Some maybe turning into something big and very disappointing.
I am really flip right now, like, my eyes are bulging and everything. No, I'm just kidding, but I do feel so crappy. Like I don't even know why I am anymore. Like I girl I used to be and the girl they loved doesn't exist anymore. I am so not surprised if one day we break up and it's my fault. It's always my fault. I'm kinda used to it.. No seriously, it's always really my fault.
Anyway, our field trip is coming soon. More like seven days. And it's such a waste of money! Yeah it really is! The school made us pay P900.00 for the trip itself and do you know where we're going? Manila Zoo -> Fort Santiago -> and Mall of Asia. I mean.. What the--!! We paid that amount of money just to see zoo animals, eat lunch in a place we've been to every year for the past souple of years, and go to a mall when we don't even have any money to spend? What is this crap? Since when did the Mall of Asia become an educational place? And you know what? The teachers didn't want us to know the exact place of where we really are going because they're afraid of compliants. P900.00 is more than enough money to go to those places. I'm not even in the shopping-mood and still I get to go to a mall I barely like. Seriously, it's not even that great. It's just huge, that's all. What would make my day on that particular day is when one of my favorite bands will be having a gig there. I just wish that Callalily will be there to play. Haha! In my dreams. I don't even know their gig schedule this November.
Good luck to the elementary kids since their field trip is today (11.10.06). I hope they try their best to enjoy the trip. And I somewhat hope that someone get lost for quite some time during their stay in the mall so that they'll change the venue for us. This is so crappy and such a waste of my time. I could've taken the P900 and treat my friends rather than watch it fly away just by sitting inside the bus, texting, and getting out of the mood by the thought of 'why am I here?'.
Okay I have to go. It's late. 'Bye!
ü
I need to answer the question, why am I like this? Why am I sort of obsessing over him. He's already mine, but why am I feeling that if I don't be careful, he might slip away? I know it's totally wrong. It's like I don't trust him at all! Oh gawd..
I though I could never give him the letter I wrote to him, but I did. I know he'll get mad, and he did, the moment I told him that I threw away the letter. I'm so twisted! I really pity him because he has to get used to a person like me. I wanna cry sometimes because of my foolish decisions and such! Some maybe turning into something big and very disappointing.
I am really flip right now, like, my eyes are bulging and everything. No, I'm just kidding, but I do feel so crappy. Like I don't even know why I am anymore. Like I girl I used to be and the girl they loved doesn't exist anymore. I am so not surprised if one day we break up and it's my fault. It's always my fault. I'm kinda used to it.. No seriously, it's always really my fault.
Anyway, our field trip is coming soon. More like seven days. And it's such a waste of money! Yeah it really is! The school made us pay P900.00 for the trip itself and do you know where we're going? Manila Zoo -> Fort Santiago -> and Mall of Asia. I mean.. What the--!! We paid that amount of money just to see zoo animals, eat lunch in a place we've been to every year for the past souple of years, and go to a mall when we don't even have any money to spend? What is this crap? Since when did the Mall of Asia become an educational place? And you know what? The teachers didn't want us to know the exact place of where we really are going because they're afraid of compliants. P900.00 is more than enough money to go to those places. I'm not even in the shopping-mood and still I get to go to a mall I barely like. Seriously, it's not even that great. It's just huge, that's all. What would make my day on that particular day is when one of my favorite bands will be having a gig there. I just wish that Callalily will be there to play. Haha! In my dreams. I don't even know their gig schedule this November.
Good luck to the elementary kids since their field trip is today (11.10.06). I hope they try their best to enjoy the trip. And I somewhat hope that someone get lost for quite some time during their stay in the mall so that they'll change the venue for us. This is so crappy and such a waste of my time. I could've taken the P900 and treat my friends rather than watch it fly away just by sitting inside the bus, texting, and getting out of the mood by the thought of 'why am I here?'.
Okay I have to go. It's late. 'Bye!
ü
the time was.. 12:20 AM
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